His Light Shines Through Us

There are a lot of things we simply can't understand.

We constantly ask,"Why do it has to happen?"

One thing I always keep in my heart; whatever happens, God cares.

Now, things may not go smoothly; however, the sun rises after a dark night, right?

And each night, the sun shines through the helpless moon.

Like the moon, we are shone through by God.

Aren't you glad that things go that way?

Whereby you can go through each up and down, knowing that there is Someone you can always hold on too.

All Out

I am exhausted, tired, and helpless. I know He has His strength in me, yet tears still run through my eyes. I wonder if crying indicate weakness; I hope not. Deep inside me, I know I should not be such a little girl. As I sat down in front of the mirror, I looked and saw that "girl" screaming out, "Grow up!" Oh, how I wish I could have seen a better picture which depicts my day. How I wish I could hear a nicer song, playing a peaceful melody. Not that I hate it now; I just... No! I shouldn't think of how much it could have been better; I'd rather fill myself with a grateful feeling, for it could have been worse.

I have been hearing music around, yet never have quite listened to it. Now that I have, I figured out the real melody it plays. I thought it has been playing a song of hope; however, its lyrics are like swords piercing my heart.

I was supposed to be tougher because I knew it, but why does it hurt even more when it gets more defined?

I missed those times when dismay was still far away behind me. Now, that hopelessness seems to be running beside me. I ran and ran as fast as I could, yet I couldn't escape from that prisoner. I stand in the midst of disguise till' I can't see the realness anymore. I was dropped from a higher mountain after I once believed that a change has taken place. Who would have known that it was all simply a lie?

If you want to stone me, do not hit my back; it hurts so much more when I could see you so innocently roaming around in front of me.

I do not care if you see me as an annoying insect,

I never want to think of how much you'd like to stab me,

I am too ignorant to try to find out what you've told people,

but I can never prevent myself from the pain caused.

I am sorry for being such a foolishly fooled fool, agreeing on pursuing an aimless goal.

You never want me around, that, I know.

How I wish you know the only reason I am staying is only to keep them from being hurt too.

Why? Cause I know how painful it is.

Oh! You're acting out a play which I do not want to act in at all.

Please, just wait till' I can find a way to escape.

I do not know how long it'll take me to find my way out, yet seek the patience in yourself.

I am so gonna be out of your way soon or later.

To the worst, if I were to stay,...

I'll play a background character, laying out a setting to support your great acting.

Or I could be your script writer. I don't mind as long as you do not see me as your competition.

I am here not to serve you, but to seek peace for the community.

I have out of ways of making you understand, yet with this small hope in me, I am going to follow through the path which is drawn for me.

When All is Said & Done

Thank God for He has guided me through it all.

Even though I have failed Him so many times by procrastinating after all the chances He has given me, He still waits for me to come with all my courage to speak.

Yes, I said it all out, everything I ever wanted to say.

I feel so grateful to God, for without His leading me, I would still be stumbling over my own fear.

My heart beat so fast , as I was afraid of how it would turn out to be.

Thank God again, for He has brought it all to peace.

I used to think of it as a bad nightmare of my life; but now, I can simply smile instead of crying because it happened and ended.

Fame vs. Family

Every girl has a dream,

Some picture themselves sitting down inside an exclusive office, becoming successful career women.

They may see themselves driving nice cars loaded with shopping bags.

You may be thinking about yourselves standing on stage with the crowds cheering out your name.

An actress? A great cook? A florist? What about me?

I admit I am such a dreamer.

Well, no one has ever said that it is wrong to dream, right?

I ain't dreaming about being on top of that fame mountain.

It's too much for me to cope with, almost worthless.

I'd rather spend time with my beloved ones, swimming, watching movies, baking cookies, playing games, and many more. Anything can be an enjoyment when I have those people beside me, family.

What can fame give you?

Popularity? Family gives you more than that, they give you LOVE.

Satisfaction? Appreciation is what family offers.

Praise? Family encourages you.

Huge posters with your face and name on it? Family has a huge poster of you in their hearts.

Oh, God has put you in your family for a reason, and whatever it is, I believe it is good for you :)

You may be able to climb up that high mountain, but what good would that do, if you have no one to share your joy with? How would you climb it up without the support of your beloved ones?

Wake yourself up! Realize how your family has been such a beauty in your life.

Out Of My Mind

Gazing out the window,

I could see the big orange hanging in the sky.

As I turn my sight towards the board,

I was hoping I could also turn my mind back to those numbers and words;

yet, everything seems so blurry.

All those talks, mumbling in my ears.

Oh, anyone please just scream at me, wake me up from this reminisce.

I remember those nights, when the stars spelled out your name in my dreams.

Now, they are just another nightmares, forcing me to stay awake until I'm able to throw those thoughts far away.

I remember when I could run to you unarmed, feeling so secure.

Now, seeing you around is like seeing thieves who might steal me back.

I remember how everything seems to be flawless;

Now everything's broken, and I'm still trying to stick those pieces back into a brand new shape.

I never want to go back; it is simply about being hold up high and dropped down.

The beauty does not worth the pain.

It is strange; how I thought it's all done in me.

I am angry, anxious, mad, and disappointed at myself, being overly confident, or shall I say stupid? For thinking of it as a simple matter.

Yes, that's what I thought, but in fact, it is so much more.

I wish I am a scientist or researcher or whoever can figure out how memories work in my brain.

Oh, dear, I gotta stop all these nonsense and get it all over with.

I do not know what to do; I am hanging in the middle of nowhere.

Shall I talk? Shall I just be quiet? Shall I..?

Tak Ada Hari Yang Sempurna

Indah hariku indah; hari yang dipenuhi dengan kehangatan persahabatan.

Sejak terbangun dari tidurku yang lelap, tak ada hal yang membuatku sedih, marah ataupun tersinggung.

Kuhirup udara yang begitu segar yang di selumbungi panas matahari yang tak terik namun cukup untuk mengusir hujan dan dinginnya kota.

Kuratapi jalan yang kulalui setiap harinya dari jendela kaca bis, orang-orang berbahagia, iya itu yang tergambarkan di mataku.

Yang ada di pikirku adalah satu hari, tak berpikir untuk meminta lebih, satu hari saja dimana aku bisa meredupkan api amarah di dalam diriku.

Dingin menusuk tulangku saat ku injakkan telapak kakiku di tepi laut.

Aku sudah tidak peduli akan hal-hal di sekitarku, bahkan celana panjangku yang telah terendam.

Aku berjalan dan berjalan menyusuri pantai untuk beberapa saat; Oh andai hidupku bisa seperti ini setiap harinya.

Sempat aku terbawa pergi oleh arus pantai yang begitu menenangkan, tetapi aku terbangun dari alam mimpiku yang kebetulan nyata.

Aku kembali ke tengah-tengah keramaian dan melanjutkan hariku.

Iya, semua memang baik-baik saja, itu yang ku harapkan.

Aku merasa siap menghadapi hari-hari esok yang mungkin tak akan seindah hari ini.

Hari ini tak hanya menjadi titik kebebasan, tapi juga menjadi satu lagi bukti akan tak ada hal yang sempurna.

Ku sangat berharap bahwa aku tak akan tahu mengapa, namun yang sudah terjadi tetaplah menjadi bukti yang kekal.

Singkat cerita, hari ini kututup dengan senyuman kesedihan.

Aku tak tahu arti dari yang terjadi, hal itu tak ingin ku bahas karena terlalu merisihkan di telinga.

Aku bingung, aku tak mengerti, aku cuman ingin meminta kekuatan dan keteguhan hati untuk menghadapi tunas yang sedang bertumbuh di hatiku ini.

Jangan sampai ia tumbuh menjadi pohon kebencian dan kepahitan.

So This Is Love

I had a very very bizarre day.

It started off with just a daily routine, school and friends.

Then, something struck me in my mind after I heard a song, "So this is love", a Cinderella soundtrack.

I did not have any idea what that was, but what I know was that it filled me up with a "wavy" feeling, in a good way, of course.

I was quite sure it's not the song itself, it's a feeling of having so much love and passion.

I was overly-bubbly that time, with all worries vacuumed away from my mind.

I could not explain or tell what happened to me.

(p.s. You can see it from my messy writing structure)

So this is love lalala

This is what makes life divine... lalala

I danced around my room while humming out softly the sweet song.

I had my cheeks blushing, and my feet tiptoeing, as if I was flying in my own dreamworld.

You probably thought, "Oh she must be falling in love."

Oh no! I was not falling in love or anything. That's why I said it was bizarre.

When I came to think of it, I realized, it's God, showing how much He loves me that He's always there in me at all time. He loves me, He loves you, He loves all of us. Amen

Strongest Weapon: Prayer

Do you struggle with insecurity everyday in your life?

And you're afraid to take even a step to face challenges.

Just like an unarmed army whose feet stumble, you dwell yourselves with selfless faith.

Time can never be your friend, it flows so slowly that you cringe behind your door, hiding from the reality.

Are you hopeless enough to give up?

Are your lives filled with desperation?

Do you know there's a great communicator which can connect you with God at anytime and anywhere?

It can be your powerful intangible weapon.

Yes! it's prayer.

God long not to only hear from you, but He long to listen to you every time.

Pray to ask.

2 Kings 20:5
"Go back and tell Hezekiah, the leader of my people, 'This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the LORD.

And you shall be given.

Pray for forgiveness.

2 Chronicles 7:14

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

And you shall be forgiven.

Pray for protection.

Psalm 32:6
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.

And you shall be secured.

Pray for guidance.

Jeremiah 42:3
Pray that the LORD your God will tell us where we should go and what we should do."

And a light shall lead you.

Pray and pray and pray to our God, Jesus.

Matthew 7:7

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you"