Duo Life

Once in my life, I thought I could never live without my past.

Reasoning by reasoning rolls my mind.

Oh! the happy moments with sprinkles of tears.

How could I throw them all away?

I felt like walking through the mud; every step seems to be so heavy and difficult.

That was then..

Now?

I, myself, am confused.

I took walks, hoping every step symbolizes a step closer to a new life.

Songs after songs I listened to; none clicks me!

People wish to be remembered, while I wish I could be forgotten. Sometimes, I wish I could be invisible. AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa!!! I screamed! I yelled! I cried! I fell onto the ground, still I tried to find a better way to express the explosion.

Nothing changes huh?!?!?

Oh! I gotta stop exaggerating. It's not that bad, right?

Yet, I have to stop being so ironic to myself.

I am not okay, even though I want to be, and I absolutely will.

*Looking at my own reflection*

I whispered, "Don't worry about me, I am fine. Trust me, I'll be okay so go on."

Surprisingly, "it" replied, "I can't, I'd rather run backward,"

"You can do it!!! Stop being such a crybaby! Stop thinking of how beautiful your life was, look at how splendid it is now, simply better."

*Endless debate and arguments were like birds chirping on my ears*

Conclusion? None beside "I am fine :) though I do not seems like I am", or in other words, "I am not fine though I might seems like I am"

I don't know...

Happiness Is A Choice

What is happiness?

Being rich? Being smart? Being loved? Being thought about? Being popular? Being looked up to?

What is "YOUR" happiness?

What can give you an assurance of endless happiness?

There's a saying, "Happiness is a choice"

I have to totally agree with this.

Why?

It is because God has given us freewill.

What's the connection?

Ecclesiastes 2:26

²⁶ To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

I hope you have made up your choice :)

Let Healing Begins

One of my friends, my sister in Christ shared this wonderful video about how confessing sins can heal us.

Here's the link;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF1X9VvQbD4

In this video, the speaker emphasizes on how we tend to put God as someone we do not fear. When I come to think of it in such perspective, it strikes me! All these times, confessing sins to Him seems to be so easy, but confessing our mistakes to other people, it becomes so hard that we stumble.

A verse which is shared in this video is James 5:13-16

¹³Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.¹⁴Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. ¹⁶Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

It's clearly said that we should pray for each other so that we may be HEALED.

It may be difficult to confess ( I, myself, admit that); however, who else shall we listen to beside our God, Jesus? Follow Him, you shall not walk in darkness :)

Running Back and Forth

Reading my own diary entries might bring me back to those days when no one's there to catch my fall, but it makes me feel more grateful knowing how better off I am right now.

People have awesome testimonies about how God has changed their lives.

Some have survived from deadly diseases, some have been healed, some have been got out from smoking, drugs, gambling, and many others which were once seems to be impossible.

praise the Lord, for He has made all things possible as long as we believe.

Well, for once you might think your lives are all in one beautiful piece, just perfect.

I have been at that state before, where I thought I am strong enough to face everything.

It's not that hard to recall all those stigmatization, spiritual destitution, and that endless lonesome lullaby. At times, I can still feel those memories digging holes in my heart, creating a deep emptiness. People may simply say that my life was perfect, and I am just greedy enough thinking it could have been better. Those sayings sound very ironic to me till' I felt like screaming out all those devastation I was feeling.

They may think I always something to prevail.

They have freedom to say how good my life is, having to be able to laugh all day long.

They tell each other how they wished they could be as lucky as I am.

I had no hands to hold on to, no shoulder to lean on.

I felt imprisoned in my own stage of disguise.

I was not lucky, at least I tried to pursue luckiness.

Oh, they were wrong then; however, I'll be glad to say that they're right now.

I have not experienced any phenomenal miraculous thing in my life, yet miracles happen every single time I believe that God is with me.

And I am not lucky for having God in my life, for luckiness is probable, God is certain and sure.

Luckiness is only for a number of people, God is for everyone.

All that He asks of you is to believe and receive.

Just open up your heart and let Him live in you.