There was no script to follow.
All I was told to do was to carve a goodbye in your heart.
I wished I was just an actress up on stage, so when I walked off the spot light, I could go back to my real life.
Unfortunately, the blood's too red to be fake, and the eyes were too sore to be made up of.
It's so difficult to face a lost of someone special, but you... you were more; you were my best friend.
When I see you so distant, I just closed my eyes, so it won't hurt as much.
Are you spending your time in silence tonight? I am not, so it won't hurt as much.
Do you still whisper good night? Do you play that song over and over again? Do you wake up in the morning with the phone beside you? Do you stay quiet when you're with friends cause your being is somewhere else? Do you still use that date combination for your password? Do you still prepare breakfast? Do you think of ideas for valentine? Do you... Do you still care?
If yes, please do not, so it won't hurt as much when we say goodbye..
Your blogs have been really a transparency of your life, what your are feeling and what your going through.
ReplyDeleteJesus talked honestly about His sorrows with the Father (Matt 26:38-39).
"Remove this cup from Me" ... these are Jesus true words. Jesus knew He was facing not only the agony of crucifixion but also the trauma of taking on the sins of the world on His sinless self and being separated from the Father. This prospect created overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear and gave rise to an open, honest, appropriate request not to go through with it. But He was "obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Phil 2:8).
Even Jesus expressed His emotions (John 11:35-36)..
But many of us go around wearing a mask. Why are we afraid to let others know who we really are?
We are afraid to be transparent because we fear others may not like what they see and reject us. Worse, your words or actions may be misinterpreted and gossip, like wild fire, may spread to many others. Another hindrance to transparency is the "living by faith" extreme of denying our feeling.
Therefore, we put up this "I-Must-Always-Be-Strong" facade such that nothing can go out and nothing can come in.